Starlight -vs- Streetlight

A Letter I Received Recently From A NONastronomer:

Hubble-UranusAll you astrologers, er, astronomers, want is dark skies soaked with stars!  You Dark Sky Guys are all alike!

We hear you out there in the dark, shouting, every night: “The light’s too bright!  The light’s too bright!  It’s never dark enough!  Never, ever dark enough!”

Well, Head’s Up Uranus, asstronomers!

Just what do you star-geeks do out there in the dark with those fancy, funny, long, metal tubes?

“Give us dark,” you threaten, “and no one’ll get hurt!”

Well, don’t try to hold us pat-triotic, light-loving USA’ns hostage to your bizarre, evil, nightlife ways!

Yes, we hear you wailing, “Shine your lights down, not up, out, and all about!”

Whining, “Neuter lights with shields and LEDs!”

Whimpering, “Lighting laws are good for all.”

Or worse, you demand, “Turn off the lights!”

That’s all UnAmercan! Goes against the 2nd, 4th, 20th, or whatever, ‘mendment!

And now you asstronomers are bellyachin’ about city lights outshining that Comit iSon thingy.  (POOF! It’s gone.  Comet ISON is now nothing more than a puff of dust, lost amidst the stars, all but impossible to see, unless you know where, when and how to look, dimming more even as I type this update.  Watch a movie of the comet’s inward and outward race around the sun from 11-27 to 12-2 here.  Oh, well, maybe the next comet’ll survive the sun.)

Don’t tell us what you whacko uranus-ologists do out there in the dark.  We see you looking up those tubes!

Nope we don’t wanna know!  It’s all probably some weird, evil, anti-’Merican, Satanist ceremony to turn us into dark sky zombies, or worse, Venus vampires!

Ter-rists! That’s what you are!  All Ter-rists!  All you *%#!$ asstronomers are Ter-rists!

But it won’t work, Ter-rists!  We have a right to bright light your night! This here’s ‘Merica!  ‘Sin that Constitutionary thingy somewhere, isn’t it?  Light, Baby, Light!

No, sir, you’ll have to come here, personally, and yank our lights from our cold, dead, hands!

That’s the only way you’ll “kill” our night lights, Ter-rists!  And we’re all gun’d ‘n ammo’d up, ready ‘n waitin’ for ya!


  1. It’s my long held theory that humans want lots and lots of light outdoors at night because of what they have seen indoors all of their lives. Sounds strange, but read on. Indoors we have the floors, walls, and ceilings bathed in light. So making the mental jump to the outside after dark means that people see the roadway’s, parking lots, the front of buildings bathed in light, but what about the ceiling? Well it’s the dust, water droplets, and molecules all lit up for many miles around by ever increasing light pollution. So with the sky itself all lit up – “Bingo”, there’s the familiar ceiling all lit up for everyone to enjoy and feel safe at home.

    And by the way, getting politicians to do anything responsible, to actually reduce light pollution, it ain’t gonna happen. They and the people that work with them suffer from a fatal sympton that I refer to as, “Well, this is the way we’ve always done things” disease! And there doesn’t seem to be any cure.

    How can there be a cure. The U.S., 40 years ago, was in the top two or three in the world in science and math. Now we’ve slipped to the mid to lower twenties in education worldwide. So how can we as light pollution reduction activists educate these leaders and the ones who work with and for them? Forget it. This country has decided that mediocrity is just fine; so the environment is going to suffer. So get used to it!

  2. This is gonna be short and not-so sweet. After reading all of the present research on LED’s, plus understanding what my eyes are telling me about them, the only logical conclusion is that we’re about to turn our cities and towns into “Perpetual Daylight.” That’s the worst – and most stupid – thing humans can/will ever do. I feel really sorry and sad for all of the nocturnal creatures when LED’s destroy night.

  3. Jack, your Moonlight Revolution and Nature’s Lighting Ordinance started me thinking about something that we say when things get too complicated – KISS- “keep it simple, stupid.” How about this in connection with your MR and NLO and the night sky – KISS – “Keep it Starlit Stupid!”

    Unfortunately with LED’s making the sky three times brighter than the street and parking lot lighting we grew up with, keeping it starlit seems to be impossible. With our leaders installing LED’s in all of our cities/counties, the only thing we humans will end up with is “Perpetual Daylight” 24/7/365. And, all you politicians, that is not “Keeping it simple – STUPID!”

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