WORDS TO

YA GOT TROUBLE

Now folks, either you're closin' your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge, or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of wasteful light in your community.

Weeell, ya got trouble, my friends...right here, I say, trouble right here in (Your City). Trouble with a capital T, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for POOL-lution! Light pollution, that is.

Why sure, I'm a lifelong stargazer, certainly; mighty proud, I say, I'm always mighty proud to say it. I consider the hours I spend with starlight in my eyes are golden. Help me cultivate star sense, a cool head and a keen eye.

'Jever take-'n try to see an iron clad supernova from a light-polluted backyard? Well, I should say, it takes darkness, hours, and a mature eye to spy a dim galaxy.

Now, I say any boob can take n' turn on a bright, backyard light. And I call that Sloth! The first big step on the road to the height of wasteful light!

I say, first it's a little backyard security light. Then...all night glare from big, bright business bulbs. And the next thing you know, your stars are a-dimmin' in the glow of bright, wasteful light, and fadin' from view in some big out-a-town corporate glare!

Hearin' 'em tell about bigtime profit, not a wholesome dark-sky trace. Oh, no! But a race where the Horsehead drowns in blazing light! Like to see some stuck-up light jockey settin' up more light? Make your blood boil? Well, I should say.

Now friends. lemme tell ya what I mean. Ya got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. . .thousand lights in your town! Bright lights that mark the diff'rence between a zillion stars and zip, with a capital Z, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for POOL-lution, light pollution, that is.

And all year long your (Your City) youth'll be a slackin' away, I say your young-uns'll be a slackin'. Slackin' away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too! Get the bulb in the socket! Never mind gettin' any fancy lights fixed, or your streetlights capped, or your parking lot lights bounded. Never mind savin' any starlight 'til your parents are caught with the Milky Way lost on a Saturday night.

Well, ya got light, my friends! Lots n' lots of light! Waaaay too much light!

Now, I'm thinkin' of the kids with binoculars 'n telescopes; young ones, seekin' starlight in dingy, light-polluted skies. Ya got trouble, folks, right here in (Your City). Trouble, with a capital T, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for POOL-lution. Light pollution, that is!

Now I know all you folks are the right kind of people, I'm gonna be perfectly frank. Would ya like to know what kinda observations go on `whilst light's-a- blazin' in the night sky?

They'll be tryin' out GoTo; tryin' out Telrads; tryin' out light filters, like telescope fiends, and braggin' all about how they're gonna eliminate streetlights with B-B's!

One clear night they leave the light polluted town headin' for the countryside and dark skies. Libertine males, curious females, and telescopes! Oh, yes, shameless star scopes that'll drag your son, your daughter, to the arms of the spiral Milky Way Galaxy--MESSIER HYSTERIA!!!

Friends, this idle light's the dark sky's demise! Ya got trouble, folks. Trouble right here in (Your City) with a capital T, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for POOL-lution, light pollution, that is! Oh, yes, you've surely got trouble.

Gotta figure out a way to keep our sky dark all night long. TROUBLE! TROUBLE! TROUBLE! TROUBLE! Mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, dogs, cats, gerbils, fishes, frogs... of (Your City). Heed my warning before it's too late.

Watch for the telltale signs of wasteful light. The minute you leave the house, does your Milky Way vanish in the glare and glow of wasteful light? Is there a streetlight stain in your dark-adapted eyes? An old telescope hidden in your closet?

Are you startin' to memorize astro-words from Capt'n James T. Kirk's Logbook? Are certain words creepin' into your conversations? Words like.... like BIG BANG? Ahaa! And . . .So's your ol' telescope!

Well, if so my friends ya got trouble right here in (Your City). With a capital T, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for pool-lution, light pollution, that is! Folks, remember Orion, Pleiades, and the Milky Way.

Oh, yes, ya got trouble. You're in terrible, terrible trouble! That night with its light-polluted skies is the stars demise! Our children's children gonna have trouble.

Oh, yes, you've got trouble, trouble, trouble. Trouble here, ya got big, big trouble. With a capital T. Gotta rhyme it with P, and that stands for POOL-lution! Light pollution, that is!

Now folks, let's protect our night skies. Resist light pollution! Demand dark skies! Smite wasteful light! Save the Milky Way! And keep our night skies pure!

Folks, listen! May I have your attention please? I can smite wasteful light, my friends, with the wave of my hand, this very hand! Please observe me if you can. I'm Mister Milky Way Man, and I'm here to organize a town full of telescopes!

Now think, my friends. How could wasteful light ever hope to compete with a town full of telescopes? Remember folks, what the great Hubble Space Telescope did for the famous fabled views of Jupiter!

Those light polluted skies are gonna dim and darken. Telescopes'll do it my friends. Oh yes, I mean lots of telescopes! Telescopes here, telescopes there, telescopes everywhere!

Do ya hear me? I say (Your City's) gotta have telescopes, and I mean it needs 'em today.

Well, Ol' Milky Way Man's on hand, and (Your City's) gonna get tele's, yes it can! As sure as stardust makes little green planets, and those tele's are gonna be focused by Johnny, Bonnie, Annie, Carl. And they'll see the glitter of starry clusters. And they'll peer at the wonder of rings 'n things. And they'll feel something akin to the electric thrill I once enjoyed when meteors, Saturn's rings, Jupiter's Great Red Spot, the Sea of Tranquillity, and the Great Orion Nebula all came visible on the very same dark sky night.

Now folks, you'll soon have telescopes right here in (Your City). Telescopes with a capital T, and that rhymes with D, and that stands for DARK, dark skies, that is, right here over (Your City)!

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